This Boy

(This picture was taken 5 years ago)

 

This boy...

 

THIS BOY!!!

 

This boy is growing up.  He's growing up way too fast!  Every morning I look at him, and realize that he is as tall - maybe taller - than I am now.  He outgrew my shoe-size about two months ago, and even by two sizes already.  I'm not sure I'm really ready for this.

 

We went school shopping this week.  I figured that he is going to outgrow anything I buy within the next two weeks - months, so I decided thrift stores was the way to go.  Mostly he needed pants and shoes.  He can already wear his brothers' T-shirts.  So pants shopping we went.  After hitting almost all of the thrift stores in our area, I was only able to find one pair of jeans that fit him - and that was a size 16!  Holy cow, his not even 12 yet.  YET. (Give it a couple of weeks).  I finally broke down and decided to check out what there was at the mall that wouldn't break the bank, so we ended up at Old Navy.  Luckily they were having a boys' pants sale, and we were able to find some jeans that fit him.  Get this - skinny jeans.  Skinny jeans are what fit him.  When I think of 'skinny jeans' I think of GQ models, rock-n-roll singers - or Keaton's high school friends Ty and Ben who bought some neon colored skinny jeans as a prank, and wore them around our little home town getting comments and funny looks from all the old farmers.  The skinny jeans look really good on Winston.  They make him look older and taller than he is.  And they were a good buy at $10 a pair.  We ended up at Walmart for the shoes, which were on sale for $9.  I consider that a score since most of the shoes that fit him, that I could find, were $25 or more.  By the end of our shopping spree I was exhausted, and he was super-hyper.  Like boncing-off-the-walls and talking-really-fast-and-loud hyper.  I was glad to grab my Diet Coke at Mickey-D's and head home.

 

Then this morning as I was laying in bed, having a nice, quiet, relaxed morning - I could hear him in the next room (the castle room) playing with the toys.  Carrying on little dialogues for whatever little characters - or cars - or other inanimate objects that were at hand at the moment.  I could have just layed there and listened to that forever.  My little boy, contentedly playing in his room.  I'm gonna miss that.

 

No matter how big or old he gets - he's still my little baby.

 

I love THIS BOY.

More Happiness & Learning to be Content

Continuing in the vein of my last post - here's another.  Have you ever had the thought... 'I'd really be happy if I had this'  or 'I'd really be happy if this was different' ?  I think a lot of my life has been in a constant revolve of this kind of thinking.  Whether it's my own self being, my relationships, my home, my job... I could go on and on and on.  I felt like I really needed a new perspective.  I've been working on being content with who I am, what I have, etc.  You know, 'Bloom where you're planted!' that kind of thing.  Today I read an article by Glennon Doyle Melton that I really appreciated and enjoyed.  It's about realizing the importance of being content with what we have.  I love her use of the word 'Perspectacles', as in having a fresh perspective in how we view our everyday things - often things we take for granted.  So by putting on my 'perspectacles' when I'm feeling inadequate or have the urge to make drastic changes, I can see the blessings and things to be thankful for in what is.  Here is the link to the article, I highly recommend reading it.  It is very refreshing and entertaining:

http://momastery.com/blog/2014/08/11/give-liberty-give-debt/

One of my favorite parts of the article is her final comment:

Today I shall keep my perspectacles super-glued to my face and feel insanely GRATEFUL instead of LACKING and I will look at my home and my people and my body and say: THANK YOU. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. THIS IS ALL MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH, ALL OF IT. Now. Let us turn our focus onward and outward. There is WORK TO BE DONE and JOY TO BE HAD.

As I write this, I think of all the work we've done to our home.  We've remodelled pretty much the whole house, many of the rooms twice.  Even so, I often think to myself... 'We should do this - or change that'... I don't think it would ever end, and many, many dollars later I could still want more.  I need to quit thinking like that.  Not just with my home, but all areas of my life.  To be grateful and content - and to embrace the JOY in life is going to be my new focus. 

And speaking of kitchens - one of the best things about our kitchen is that it's the perfect place for this...

 

Uncle Paul can make his teeny-tiny pancakes here whenever he wants!

(Okay, so those aren't so teeny... but usually they are really very minuscule.)

 

Have a great week, Everybody!

Choosing Happy

This is a hard post for me.  I don't really like to focus this blog on myself, since it's a family blog, but I feel strongly about what I'm writing here.  My little sister, Katie, recently wrote a post about shame, vulnerability and body-image.  I really liked what she wrote, and I'm thankful that she wrote it.  I think it's something we all struggle with in one way or another.  I recently had an experience regarding these things that led me to a different way of thinking about myself.  I want to share it with you, vulnerability and all, so here goes...

It's no secret that weight has been an issue for me for many years now.  It's a big deal.  It's affected how I view the world, and how I feel about myself.  I think it also has affected how others see me too - which I don't understand why, it has no real affect on them.  But I didn't realize just how damaging my view of myself was until about a year-and-a-half ago.  I was looking through old photo albums and I noticed that for many, many years I was not smiling in the pictures of me.  Often, there would be pictures of our family, doing activities that were really great and fun - and there would be no picture of me being involved in them.  That was because I didn't want to be in the picture.  I didn't like what I looked like, so I avoided being photographed.  I also remembered avoiding and missing out on fun activities because I was worried about my weight and what others would think.  As I looked at those pictures, I became really sad.  I thought about how my kids, and possibly grandkids, are going to look at those photos and think that I was a deeply unhappy person.  Even years ago, when I was a lot thinner than I am today - I looked miserable with myself, and irritated at whoever was taking the picture.  I decided this had to change.

I'm not going to talk about the many diets and treadmills and ups and downs of weight loss I've encountered all these years.  I've chosen not to focus on that anymore.  I decided I am going to CHOOSE to be HAPPY being the me that I am right in this moment.  To start, I decided to let my happiness show that I am enjoying this life that I have been given.  I have been so blessed in this life!  So when a picture is being taken, I show my happiness in that moment.  What a difference!  I love seeing the difference between myself now and what I used to be.  And it has carried over into ther areas of my life, and my emotional well-being.  I'm no longer obsessed with my body, or depressed with feelings of not being good enough.  Instead, I'm enjoying the time I have with my family, friends and activities I'm involved with.  If I really want to do something, I do it.  I used to get so caught up in what people would think of me - or that I looked like an idiot.  I don't care anymore.  If people don't like me, or don't want to get to know me because of what I look like, they are really missing out on getting to know a great, caring, dedicated, loving and fun person.

There are still moments I grumble when my clothes don't fit, or I'm huffing and puffing up a hill.  Or when I vie for being in the back of a group photograph to hide my fat-rolls (as a joke of course).  Being thinner would be nice, but if I am trying to be thinner to fit into what my culture, media or even other people say I should be, that is not going to make me happy.  Thinner to be healthier, sure.  That would be great!  But until - or if - that is able to happen, I choose to be really happy with myself as I am, right now.  To love each experience I am having and enjoy the people I am having each experience with.  Looking at myself and life this way has made a big difference - not just for me, but for my family too.  When Momma's happy, everybody's happy! 

I mean, look at that smile!

Who wouldn't want to know that!

Forced Insomnia

It's 3:30 a.m.  I've been up for at least an hour now.  The dogs keep getting out of their kennel pen and have been running around the house, barking right outside of our bedroom window.  Tom got up once to try to fix their pen to keep them in it, but evidently it didn't work.  So I'm sitting up - babysitting these mutts, threatening them with a fly-swatter lashing if they so much as make a noise, so Tom can get some much needed sleep.  I figure this is as good a time as any to update my blog.  Aren't you lucky!?

Where did July go?  It feels like I blinked and 'oops!' it was gone.  We had a nice 4th of July. Mom and Dad Chick came up to visit.  We also had our Chickies (Nels & Rachel's family) and Ron & Denetta Nugen and their two boys came to join us.  Ron works with Tom at the college.  We had a really good time watching fireworks, playing games and sitting around the firepit together.  The kids also did some swimming in the pool.  Keaton and Dorie weren't with us as they were at Dorie's family reunion that weekend.

Winston started summer school.  He only has to go for an hour twice a week.  We've been trying to do some school activities here at home too, to keep his mind working for the school year.  We had raspberries popping off the vines like crazy this year.  Had lots of people come and help us keep them picked.  That was nice.  We also had a lot of cherries on our tree, and for the first time since we've lived here we actually have apricots on our tree.  This has been a great fruit year for us.  Unfortunately, it's been a bad garden year.  Our poor, sad garden just has been struggling for some reason.  The chickens  have started laying eggs, though, and we are up to 6 eggs a day now!

This past weekend Tom, Winston and I were able to go down to 'Low Idaho' and celebrate some birthdays with my family.  First was the dual birthday of my brother and sister, Levi & Melyni.  They were born 10 years apart on exactly the same day.  It was fun to get to see my whole family!  Then on Saturday we celebrated Grandpa Larson's 90th birthday with the whole Larson side of the family.  I got to see a lot of my cousins that I haven't seen in years.  That was great too!  Grandpa looks great for turning 90!  He's an inspiration!

Here are a few pictures of the past month...

A sparkler 'W' for Winston!

Rachael & Preston

Kendall & Rachel with kids in the taxidermy museum at the college.  I forgot to mention that we got to have Kendall and girls here for a visit for a week.  That was a great time too!

Cousin time at an old-growth cedar forest in Moscow.  This was after we picnicked in a patch of anthills!

Here we are showing Dorie Keaton's baby videos while he's off hanging out with his high school friends.  That's what he gets for not sticking around.  We entertained her with images of 'little Keater' for at least an hour!

For Keaton's birthday we had the Drake family, the Benjamin girls, Dorie and our Chickies over to celebrate.  Here's the birthday boy and Winston in the pool with the girls.

That's 21 candles there!

Melyni with Grandma & Grandpa Larson

The kids entertaining themselves with water balloons!

Levi & Melyni endure the 'Happy Birthday' singing.

 

Sorry, no candles.  I forgot them... just like I forgot just about everything else.

I told Mely I was going to post this picture.

 

It's her donkey-kick.  Kendall was giving her 30 birthday kickings, so she retaliated with a donkey kick.  It's always ninja stuff with these two!

I posted some pretty funny versions of this picture on facebook already.  Here is the 'best' one with no bunny ears or tongues sticking out.  Yes, there is  only  this one!

I love every one of these people.

We are so blessed to have such a great family!

 

So now it's 4:07 a.m.  Tom will be getting up in about 20 minutes.  I guess I can go to bed now.  Hopefully the dogs can be quiet by themselves until then.

 

Goodnight - or should I say 'Good morning'.